My husband and I had just started building our dreams; we had our first daughter, moved into our dream house, we were finally getting married 3 months later and we had begun to talk about when to start trying for a sibling to our beautiful Emilie.
As my husband underwent test after test to determine the staging of the cancer we began to accept that we would require ART to grow our family. So between blood tests, CT & PET scans, a bone marrow biopsy...my husband ensured that we had enough frozen sperm to allow us to have the possibility to attain our dream.
We were married as scheduled and 4 days later my husband underwent his first chemo treatment for late stage II/Early stage III Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. After 7 treatments a CT scan reveled that all the tumors were gone and he was "cancer free". He had his 8th and final treatment (precautionary) in September 2007 and has been in remission since.
As he began to heal from the toll that the chemo treatments took on his body and mind we began to discuss when we would begin our first attempt via IVF/ICSI. We decided that it would be with my March 2008 cycle. All was ready to go...
March 14th 2008 I took my first BCP...and we were off!
April 24th 2008 I had my ET
May 7th 2008 - Beta = 427
Our happiness and excitement were short-lived as at our prenatal 12 week test we were given a 1:30 risk for Down Syndrome and then opted for an amnio. On Thursday July 24th in morning the doctor was removing about 20cc of amniotic fluid and then that same evening I was admitted to the hospital for a complete rupture of the amniotic sac. The following morning I was counseled and told to be prepared to take cytotec to terminate the pregnancy. Somehow against all odds my baby survived, the amniotic sac healed and I was allowed to go home on strict bed-rest orders. This is where Isabelle got her "Mommy's Miracle Fighter" title.
Throughout the pregnancy there were many ups and downs but my Miracle Fighter survived them all and I welcomed her to the world on December 23rd 2008 @ 3:25am at 37w1d gestation.
The next 3 months were the most intense days of my life but having my little girl healthy and at home with me was not meant to be. She passed away in my arms on March 20th 2009 just after 10am (I LOVE YOU MY SWEET PRECIOUS ISABELLE).
More details about Isabelle's day to day fight can be seen in my blog entry:
My husband and I have been working through our grief and have begun to accept a new sense of normalcy after the loss of a child. We also began to discuss our options to try and give Emilie a sibling to grow up with. Then in June 2009 life threw us another curveball; Unfortunately this blessing was not meant to be. We lost our baby boy at 20wks3days gestation and I delivered his tiny little body (just over 6oz) on October 10th 2009.
The loss of 2 children in one year can take a toll on anyones emotional and physical well-being and can obviously wreck havoc in anotherwise stable and happy marriage. I am proud to say that although my husband and I have had our arguements we are fighting this battle together and we both know that no matter what our precious walking Miracle Emilie will have her parents happy and together.
So please join me in following my family is the dream of adding to it; life has a funny way of working out if we just believe.